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域名惊魂

#轶事#
发布于 2020-02-09

这个故事告诉我们,没事不要一时性起就重置手机

对现在这个域名yuhang.ch,因为是名字全拼和的声母ch的最简组合。本科的时候就觊觎许久了,但当时受生活费限制(其实也就 ¥120/1yr),只能选择做活动的几块一年的域名玩。18 年 12 月的时候又有突然想到这个域名,马上Godaddy查询,发现 available,当时那个开心呀,没想太多就入了一年,心满意足。

悲剧发生在一次登陆之后,本着看到红点就要点下去的执念,点了开启二步认证,又本着总要试试新鲜事物的作死心态,选择了OAUTH的方式,用的是 App Store 的开源软件。手机重置的时候,因为对icloud的强烈信任,没点备份,其实当时对Godaddy二步认证最坏的情况有兜底的预想:大不了邮箱收个解除认证的邮件呗。

事实证明,我太乐观了 T_T。19 年 12 月我开始收到续费提醒,账号密码登录 -> 请输入二步认证码,心里 duang 的一下凉了一半,点击了解如何禁用两步认证,好嘛,流程有一整页。一步一步照着流程发邮件,心里长舒一口气,反正是自己的东西,身份证一通乱拍,这还不能证明这号码是我的吗?

三天后,事实证明我依然还是太乐观了,回复如下:

Thank you for the additional information, we are happy to continue. A certified English translation of your government-issued photo ID or alternate identification in English is required to move forward. We recommend utilizing your favorite search engine to find local companies in your area that are certified to do official translations of documents. A Certified Translation consists of the following three parts:

• The document in the original language text • The document in the translated text • A statement signed by the translator or translation company representative, with his or her signature notarized by a Notary Public, attesting that the translator or translation company representative believes the translated document to be an accurate and complete translation of the original document. Sometimes this statement bears the title “Certificate of Accuracy” or “Statement that Two Documents Have the Same Meaning.” Some translators will attach a Curriculum Vitae to the notarized statement.

Once this is received, we will inform you if there is anything additional needed to process your request, or we will let you know that your request has been completed.

看到这其实心里是有点恼火的,这么大个企业,连个国内的工作人员都没有吗,我大天国身份证还要我给你们翻译一遍?气归气,抱着对这个域名的爱,老老实实查了查国内有资质的翻译公司,查了查价格,我的天,比我域名的年费还贵,心里 duang 的一下又凉了 1/4。抱着死马当活马医,又原封不动的发了一遍申请,回复是三个步骤的加粗:

Thank you for your documentation unfortunately we cannot accept. A certified English translation of your government-issued photo ID or alternate identification in English is required to move forward. We recommend utilizing your favorite search engine to find local companies in your area that are certified to do official translations of documents. A Certified Translation consists of the following three parts:

• The document in the original language text • The document in the translated text • A statement signed by the translator or translation company representative, with his or her signature notarized by a Notary Public, attesting that the translator or translation company representative believes the translated document to be an accurate and complete translation of the original document. Sometimes this statement bears the title “Certificate of Accuracy” or “Statement that Two Documents Have the Same Meaning.” Some translators will attach a Curriculum Vitae to the notarized statement.

Once this is received, we will inform you if there is anything additional needed to process your request, or we will let you know that your request has been completed.

绝望之余,转念一想,自己好歹学习聋哑英语这么多年,不会说也听不懂,但咱读写也是过关的咯,就准备自己给自己翻译,自己给自己开证明:

看着自己觉得帅的一批的签名,心想虽然希望不大,还是又发了一次申请,回复很真实,与上次一字不差。我的怒气槽已然满格,以礼相待不行,于是我拿出了键盘侠的身份牌,开喷:

Thanks for the quick reply from the first two letters. You have the same content twice for me. In the attachment, I provided a clear picture of the ID card, the original Chinese text of the ID card, the English translation of the ID card, and the the required statement is provided attached On the third page, What other needs are there?

I did find a local translation company in my favorite search engine. Their quotes far exceeded the value of my account, about forty dollars. Of course, I can wait for my domain name with a half-year deadline. I will apply again from other service providers, but I don’t think this is the service that you, the best service provider in the world.

For my application, I feel that you can transfer my application to a staff who master Chinese. The text on the ID card is very easy to understand and it is easy to prove my identity.

If the application is still rejected, I think I prefer that after the domain name in this account expires, I will use the services of other service providers instead of continuing to submit the application.

Looking forward to your reply.

请无视我蹩脚的英语,大致意思如下:

1. 虚假的谢谢

2. 我身份证发了,也翻译了,还缺什么?

3. 我找翻译公司了,翻译费比我域名还贵,我能怎么办嘛?

4. 说我翻译的不行,你们找个内地员工帮我审审行不行嘛?

5. 威胁之,你们店大欺客,我以后不来了啊!!

忐忑了几天,终审出炉了:

Unfortunately, we will not be able to assist you with your request as you are not the current account holder. Our department can only make this type of change after verifying the consent of the account holder on file with the required documentation. You will need to contact the person listed on record regarding any assistance with access, or advise them to submit their documentation directly for review.

Questions? Please contact Customer Support at link or call 480-505-8877 anytime, 24/7. We’d be happy to help.

反正就是证明不了我就是我了,一致申请不过的原因,过段时间之后我又想了想可能是注册的时候,我填的的是英文的全拼,所以我身份证的照片证明不了中文英文,但最终我都没能再登录上看看那个账号,这些也都成迷了。

这终审结果虽然使人绝望,但也有些新鲜内容,看到结尾真情款款的客服电话的邀请,我抓紧找了个没人的地方开始拨打。打之前还忐忑了一番,万一是个英文客服,我这口语水平怕是无法应付哦,但为了域名,冲冲冲!

滴滴滴滴几次指引,终于听到人工客服了,是普通话客服,我舒了一口气,开始输出,从讲道理到打苦情牌:

Q: 我要禁用二步认证

A: 登录的时候有指引,需要发邮件

Q: 我发了,说不是我,有其他方法吗

A:… 无

Q: 我中文身份证还要翻译,是不是不太合理呀

A:…, 嗯,但目前只有这一种途径哦

Q:…, 谢谢

A: 好的,祝您生活愉快

电话过后,就只剩下最后一个方法咯,等到到期,用另一个账户再申请一次,是否有人在这段时期抢注,就只能听天由命了。

于是,在域名到期之后,就开始了每日一次的检查,看看我的宝贝能注册了没。

首先是过期后的前几天,我的解析还是存在的,之后解析失效,搜索还是提示 unavailable, 就有些不淡定了,查相关资料:

第 1 天我们会进行第一次计费尝试(共三次),以续订域名。如果计费失败,则域名过期,且域名会被停放。注册人可以免费续订此域名。
第 4 天我们会进行第二次计费尝试。注册人仍然可以免费续订此域名。任何与此域名关联的网站或电子邮件服务可能会中断。
第 12 天我们将进行第三次(最后一次)域名续费尝试。注册人仍可以对域名续费,且无需支付额外费用。
第 19 天支付一年的续订费用外加 80 美元的赎回费用后,注册人可以续订域名。
第 25 天我们会将域名放入过期域名拍卖行列。
第 31 天域名可能再也无法赎回。
第 36 天过期域名拍卖结束。如果在过期域名拍卖过程中没有出现抢注者或出价者,我们会将该域名列入清仓拍卖行列。
第 41 天清仓拍卖结束。
第 42 天我们会将域名退回注册局。在发布域名进行常规注册之前,注册局会保留域名。

这可把我急死了,不同的注册局情况还不一样,不确定因素增加,但也只能一天一次的上线查询。

鸡汤一点就是功夫不负有心人,大概也就是在一个半月的时间,睡眼惺忪一如往常的打开链接,available!!砰的从床上弹起来,打开电脑,也来不及找优惠码在哪填了,购物车,付款,支付宝扫码。时隔四十五天,终于重新获得了对yuhang.ch对所有权,撒花🎉。

对新的账号,我选择了电话短信的认证方式,真的挺香的。

最后编辑于 2024-02-24